Last night I met up with a friend from high school who’s been working in Hong Kong. After grabbing dinner at a sports bar — and imbibing Kirin after succumbing to the marketing prowess of one of the roving Kirin girls — he took me to Central and SoHo, the areas that most expats go to get their drink on.

If you walked into certain pubs there, you wouldn’t even know you were in Hong Kong. We went into one lounge and I felt like I was in San Francisco, no Cantonese just English and mixed couples galore (mostly white guys and their Chinese lotus flowers … not that there’s anything wrong with that).

My friend told me that locals usually avoid the Central and SoHo areas, unless they’re seeking out an expat to hook up with. And there were plenty of people looking to hook up —  like at the club we went to after the lounge. After giving the password to the doorkeepers (1776 … clever) and paying the $100 HK cover, we entered your stereotypical high-end lounge. Shark tank, VIP area, dance floor, stripper pole.

It was quite an introduction to the Hong Kong expat scene. It was a Thursday night and people had obviously come to party. Within 15 minutes I witnessed two girls (one of them married) making out. Then one of the girls (the married one) started devouring a Dutch guy’s face. It was like being back in the party room of Delta Chi. After an hour or so of watching this hedonistic exhibitionism, the official entertainment arrived: a pole dancer who looked like she had plied her trade at Rick’s. No nudity, but the crowd loved it. (God, please let me have a son).

Unfortunately I didn’t bring my camera with me. Forgive me for neglecting my journalistic duties. But the Dutch guy did snap pictures of the two girls who kept tonguing and pawing at each other all night (they must have pre-funked to the new sorority anthem “I kissed a girl“). We can only pray that he posts them online somewhere.

The rest of the night ended unremarkably. I was in bed by 1:30 a.m., still early by Hong Kong party standards. I know I’m disappointing many in my audience for my lack of partying dedication. I promise I’ll try to stay up past 2 next time. And bring my camera.